and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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