I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
