U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
