He kissed a someone with a penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
