You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
