i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
