Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
