Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
