This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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