Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
