I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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