CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
