when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
