sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
