I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
