No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
