That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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