i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
