Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
