OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
