Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
