Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
