Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How does one acquire holy water?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
