And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
