Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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