You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
