These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
