no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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