Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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