Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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