See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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