and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
