I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
