I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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