Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So many bounce houses so little time
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
