My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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