I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's blow job season.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
