im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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