I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
