well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
