so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so let's talk penis.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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