Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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