We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
