i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
