I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
