I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
