I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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