idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
