The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
