Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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